Still in love in Rocklin

Original email-

"Dear Buffet,

My problem involves a coworker. We were in a relationship a few years ago and she broke up with me. She feels that I cheated. She still accuses me of lying and cheating even now years later.

We both have dated others since the breakup. She has contacted me several times for sex. Just raw awesome sex. She has cheated with me on some boyfriends. We often talk about having a future yet she drops me like a hot rock when she wants to. She calls me weekly for sex. I always meet her or sometimes just hang out with her when she calls.

Recently, she's told me that it will never be more than just sex for her. She says she can never trust me again. I didn't cheat. She texts me all night when she knows I'm out with my guy friends. She won't leave me alone when I try to walk away. She is very hot and hard for me to resist.

What can I do?"

Response:

Dear Rocklin,

She's told you everything you need to know. She only wants sex. You're only a priority to her when she wants sex or she feels you slipping away from her control. It sounds as if she gets some kind of high just messing with your head. It is an unhealthy relationship between the two of you. The choices are to keep doing what you're doing or change your behavior to one of the following, 1) don't be her doormat, make the sex (non emotional) work for you until you find someone that appreciates you and never look back at her no matter how hot she is. 2) walk away, no friendship because she isn't friendly. She is suffocating you emotionally while doing whatever she wants. Also, you know she's a cheater. Her standard for you is when she just thought you cheated she couldn't ever trust you again. You KNOW she cheated so you know she's not trustworthy for a monogamous relationship. Good luck and I hope this helps......