Do you create it!

"What's it?" You ask. Your relationship quality in this discussion.

While no "one" person in a couple can take the credit or blame for a great relationship or a poor relationship, each of us can control the flow. What's the downside to making the interaction as positive as possible?

Obviously, two people get together because of mutual attraction in one or more categories. Why not improve it and make it better? I know it's much easier and more definite outcome to tear something down. Especially a relationship. They are easy to tear down with all of the intimate details that get shared over time. You know the insecurities, fears and other hot buttons for that person. You can start it rolling with a simple comment and its on! Why not skip the negativity though. Build something great. It's actually simple to do. So why aren't more people doing it? It's scary. You have to do the work on yourself. That's the good news. Lol. You can change yourself into a more confident happier person. How? Simply by dealing with your own demons from your past.

Everyone has demons. Most don't realize it though. How do you realize them? Lots of ways. A person can try therapy or any one of dozens of self help seminars and books or just being self aware enough to analyze your negative behavior. Lets look at the last one briefly. One way you can identify demons for yourself is to analyze the next incident that you have a negative emotion that causes you to act negatively. Ask yourself if the thing that happened deserved your reaction. Ask if your perception was even correct. Also ask yourself if you've looked at all of the evidence first or did you react on an emotional level first then gather evidence to support your emotion. That's a big one.

If you're escalating an issue instead of resolving it, you are creating a negative relationship. If you chose to resolve it then you're creating a positive relationship. If you choose the third option and just let it go, then you truly need to let it go or it's always there waiting to come out again. Thus just delaying the contribution to a negative relationship.

If it is truly the other person in the relationship creating it solely then don't be a participant in the negative behavior. Respect yourself enough to not get sucked into the poor behavior. That would be the type of thing you could do to create a positive relationship.

Just remember we all have issues from our past no matter how young or old we are. They were starts from some level of interaction with others. It's normal and all we need is the tools to correct ourselves so we can be happier in life.

Have a great day and good luck.