Is it worth it?

We all need to gauge ourselves when it comes to what is "worth it" in our relationships.  The worth I'm talking about has no monetary vailue.  You can't save it up and buy anything material.  You won't be able to go out on the town with it or anything.  It will have great value though.  It will continue to appreciate in value as much as you create the possibility for it to exist. 

It's self worth that I'm talking about.  What is your self worth.  You hear a lot of people talk about other people's relationships and they low self esteem, low self worth, etc. or they wouldn't stay with them.  Pretty common right?  What about your low self worth causing you to be petty?  Like having some small thing that you want to fight about.  In the fight it rises to deal breaker for you when really it was small in the grand scheme of things.  I often use the anaolgy of taking out the trash.  Why does the trash have to be a point of contention in an otherwise great relationship?  The conversation would go something like this.....

"I need you to take out the trash"
"Okay, I'll get to it when I'm done here"
5 minutes later.....
"I need it taken out right now!"
"I said I'd take care of it when I'm done here"
"You don't care about me"
"I do care about you? what are you talking about?"

Then the argument escalates from there.  How did we go from taking out the trash being more important than the worth of either person or the relationship?  I think it's low self worth.  Good, positive self worth would never allow a person to apply the meaning that a task means that there significant other doesn't care about them.  Then you have to ask yourself "why would you go there over a petty insignificant item of any kind?"

So work on yourself and analyze why something so small rises to such importance. Make sure it's worth what you're throwing away.......

How to build a bridge......

How do you build a relationship bridge? A relationship, any relationship, that has been lost to a misunderstanding, poor communication or even uncalled for attacks can have that bridge built again.

The work involved in building is equal to the damage done that burnt it to begin with. So you should have an idea of the work needed. What can make it worse is having a history of an apology that's not all that genuine and then a short period of time for the negative behavior to start again, repeatedly. If you've built a pattern of this kind of activity, you're not at a total loss but it will be difficult. Difficult because you have to fix the hurt feelings and you can only do that if you have trust. So while you have to overcome the hurt you also have to build trust that you are genuine and won't repeat the behavior that created the hurt to begin with.

Depending on how long it's been, how much the person felt violated etc will depend on how hurt they still are. Regardless of how hurt they are you need to be very real, honest about you and your crap that caused it, what revelation you've had to be able to realize it and what the hell you're going to do to correct it in the future. Then once you've declared it walk your talk and make it happen.

When the other person starts to see the transformation to what you said you were going to do, they'll start to trust that you are transforming. It's all baby steps. Don't get discouraged if it doesn't go as fast as you want it to go. Remember, growth is not a steady upward path. It's three steps forward, four back, one around the tree etc. that's anyone's growth, yours theirs etc. just be patient and follow your plan for you.

It will happen.

A Little something I came across....

This is pretty accurate ladies.

Today's thought

Something to remember......

Thoughts of a Hopeless Romantic

I believe I'm simple in what I want. I have simple expectations. I think people are interactive or at least I know I am. I'm just me as real as I can be each day about me, my thoughts, hopes and desires. I don't think any of us are particularly special by ourselves. I believe that in the beginning it starts with something as simple as a smile to appreciate. Then grows into a mutual discovery of each other that leads to an understanding of each other which has never been reached before. That so much awareness and appreciation for the other takes them both to a level of feeling special that neither of them has been able to realize alone. It all starts with just a boy and just a girl.  Then just develops into so much more