I have been saying this for years. I found an article tis morning that says it much more eloquent than I ever have. Check out the link.
Huffington Post
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Monday, December 3, 2012
Big Killer of Relationships
Self-Fulfilling Prophecy:
Process by which one's expectations about another person eventually lead the other person to behave in ways that confirm these expectations
NOTE: Self-fulfilling prophecies must involve at least two people-- you cannot have a self-fulfilling prophecy with yourself
4 Steps to Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
1. Perceiver has expectations about how target will behave
2. Perceiver then behaves in a way that is likely to elicit the expected target behavior
3. Target indeed behaves in a way that confirms perceiver's expectations
4. Perceiver (Objective Perceiver) sees predicted behavior
Examples of Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
* You expect your new roommate to be shy so you don't speak much to him after he moves in, and he therefore does seem shy
* A coach expects his freshmen to be uncoordinated and unskilled so he does not play them often, and when he does they are rusty and do not perform well
* Your professor expects you to do well and she spends extra time with you preparing for the exam, so you get an A
*. You feel that your significant other will not meet your need to feel like the most important person in their life. You do the behaviors that drive them away from you until they leave. Thus proving your own fears correct.
Process by which one's expectations about another person eventually lead the other person to behave in ways that confirm these expectations
NOTE: Self-fulfilling prophecies must involve at least two people-- you cannot have a self-fulfilling prophecy with yourself
4 Steps to Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
1. Perceiver has expectations about how target will behave
2. Perceiver then behaves in a way that is likely to elicit the expected target behavior
3. Target indeed behaves in a way that confirms perceiver's expectations
4. Perceiver (Objective Perceiver) sees predicted behavior
Examples of Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
* You expect your new roommate to be shy so you don't speak much to him after he moves in, and he therefore does seem shy
* A coach expects his freshmen to be uncoordinated and unskilled so he does not play them often, and when he does they are rusty and do not perform well
* Your professor expects you to do well and she spends extra time with you preparing for the exam, so you get an A
*. You feel that your significant other will not meet your need to feel like the most important person in their life. You do the behaviors that drive them away from you until they leave. Thus proving your own fears correct.
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